Thank You

I just needed time, time to think, time to process, time to be okay. And you needed to be you. You didn’t have time. I get that. I was young and confused. I didn’t know who I was or what I wanted to be. I was lost and you were completely sure of yourself. I liked your confidence. We were both changing so much, but we weren’t changing together. We had reached a part of our journey where we couldn’t walk down the same path. You kept going. Kept walking down your road and I stayed right and walked down mine.

We weren’t for each other, but we’re meant for someone. It’s funny how time changes things. I think about going back, hitting a redo button, making a wish to alter some monumental event. If I just had a magic bean or could wiggle my nose and poof. A second chance. But that would be silly. Time keeps moving and we move with her. She is a terrible mistress.

Time makes us who we are and getting lost in the past prevents us from moving forward. We had our time. You were my first love. I thought without you; I would break. It was an amazing time full of adventure, you pushed my boundaries. Thank you for that.

Thank you for being my first, thank you for changing me, thank you for running out of time. If you hadn’t, I wouldn’t have had to put myself back together. I wouldn’t have realized I wasn’t that fragile. I wouldn’t have learned to be strong.

Thank you for moving on and being happy. I wonder if you’d recognize me. I’m sure there are still fragments of the person you left behind, but they are held together by something much stronger than before.

My scars tell stories of where I’ve been. They aren’t pretty, they aren’t beautiful, they don’t hide. They tell you exactly where I was hurt and how, but they are mine.