Positive Growth

We are humans. This wonderful creature that gets to live on Earth and create and influence and be alive. We learn and fight and are comprised of stories, but never the same story as anyone else. We come from difference. I did this, while you may have done something completely different. We share and we fight and we search for our purpose on this planet.

I believe that everyone was put where we are for a specific reason. That our lives are completely interwined and whether we know it or not we are changing the world with every breathe. As humans we have the power to be positive or negative. I've spent a lot of time being negative. I have thought that life wasn't worth it. That I am useless, worthless, that there is this tiny voice inside my head telling me that all I am capable of doing is f*cking up and I should go hide in the hole that I came from. I'm making it a point to not be that girl anymore.

When I thought negatively, I lived negatively. I never planned on living past my 21 birthday. Now I'm 22 and part of me is confused and struggling to find this person I'm becoming. There are many reasons I shouldn't be here anymore. When I was 3, I almost drown. When I was 5, my plane caught on fire mid flight. When I was 16, I didn't want to be here anymore. When I was 18, I was in a car accident that was so bad officers were looking for bodies and not the two girls shivering on the side of the road. I should not be here, but I am. And the only reason I can make sense of my life is that I'm here for a purpose. I am here because I have something left to do and my secret mission isn't complete.

I'm tired of living negatively, living in a world of worthlessness.

I'm choosing to live positively. Be positive, and making sure I'm taking care of myself. We are humans and we are made up of stories and our pasts, but we are creatures of free will meaning we control how our past influences our future.

When I put negative energy in the world, I recieved negative energy back. My hope is that by putting positive energy in the world, positivity will find me. I guess the basic principle is "what goes around, comes around."

I think one of the truly great things about being human is that we were born a blank slate, or tabula rasa. Through our experiences we are formed. We are can look back on our life and say, "I made mistakes here, here, and here. And this is why I am the way I am." But we can choose to not let our mistakes define us.

I'm sure if we knew we were making a mistake at that time, we wouldn't have done it. But mistakes are learning experiences. Looking at them in the right light means they aren't mistakes. They are points of growth.

My reason for being here is probably completely different than yours. We have different beliefs, histories, lives. But I think we were meant to cross paths. Maybe you were my influence to be positive? Maybe my story will help you? Who really knows, but we were fortunate enough to write a page in each other's stories.

So thank you for helping my growth. Thank you for being a part of the book I'm living. For making up my past and my present. I'm a better person because of it, and I hope when you think of our time together, you smile.